Mix 'Em Up
by TheBleachSisters-ane
Summary: Slade decides it’s time to let the Titans to destroy themselves. Old tricks die hard it seems... With everything in place, Slade’s plan appears to be perfect. But when he swindles the wrong master thief, plans backfire in a serious way!
1. Chapter 1

Here we are again. After a few weeks of revision (stupid work and sickness keep getting in the way…) I finally have another story to post. I wrote this a while ago, a year or two… I'll admit I don't remember. It took a while, but I've crafted it to a point that I found acceptable. So, enjoy the story for what it's worth, and feel free to tell me what you think ;) I'll admit now that Slade isn't my _best_ character while writing (it's hard to keep a crazy man in character, isn't that right, writers?), but he's still fun to putter with.

There's a bit of language in this story. Pairings… Not much to mention. A hint of Starfire/Robin and some Beast Boy/Raven implications.

Also, a disclaimer; no, I do not own the _Teen Titans_ or anything related to the matter, and so on.

That's enough from _pookytoo_. Now, without further ado:

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_That's right… Just as planned. Enter, foolish Titans. Once again you fall for my old tricks. Predictable as ever._

Slade flipped the switch that locked each and every exit of the warehouse that he was hiding in. Trapped like rats, Slade eagerly watched them run though the maze he had so cleverly and carefully constructed. His last few weeks of work would be for not. Since the passageway the Teen Titans were currently in only led to one room, Slade decided it was time to greet them.

The time spent in hiding was more fruitful than he could have dreamed. Though Terra was now free from her prison deep in the earth, Slade had little concern to exact his revenge on her. The consequences of her actions would haunt her for the rest of her life, and no wound he could physically impart onto her would scar as much as the memories of how she had treated her "friends."

It had been a long wait, but none of the hatred that Slade had for the young group of superheroes had waned. Bitterness toward his former apprentice had intensified. The desire to control the boy had now become a matter of principle.

The plan carefully circulated though Slade's twisted mind as he pushed though the final door.

_I know for a fact that the Titans were once confronted by a puppet man who attempted to trap them in figurines designed after them. The girls were not captured, but in the process, had mind and body switched. They were unable to control each other's powers at first, and nearly destroyed each other and their fellow Titans._

_After careful research and painstaking assembly, the machine has been built. All Titans will be scrambled in a similar matter. With the difficulty of learning each other's powers amplified by three, and making sure Raven's powers are given to the clueless green one, chaos will ensue. The Titans will be the means to their own destruction._

The plan was simple. No doubt it had been done before, but Slade did not care. He knew he would be successful. The group could in no way be aware he was the man behind the plan. _That is, if X did as I asked._

Finding the master thief was simple. Hiring him was no harder. Now the time had come to see if he lived up to the reputation he had built for himself.

_And pay the greedy bastard_, Slade thought as he paced toward the circular room that Robin and the others were stuck in. He grabbed a briefcase before he entered the main hallway.

_The price may be a bit steep, but it's assuredly worth it. Time and time again I've attempted to destroy those miserable children with no success. _He chuckled slightly when his lackey came into sight. _If I can't annihilate the Titans myself, it's time to let them do it themselves._

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How dastardly of him! A plot most fiendish, and as he said, "… been done." :) I love it though. Now to see what happens next! As if you couldn't have guessed, right?


	2. Chapter 2

"Raven, try the door!"

"If Starfire couldn't destroy it, what makes you think I can?"

"Pick the lock," Robin instructed. While Raven attempted to break through the door that had locked behind them, he turned a full circle in the round room they were now trapped in.

Beast Boy was unable to break through the reinforced walls, no matter what animal he turned into. Cyborg's beam cannon had no effect, and Starfire couldn't bend or shatter anything on the walls. The ten medical tables that were positioned around the floor had worried Robin from the start, and with Red X standing outside the locked door, he had no idea what to expect.

"Robin, do something!" Beast Boy cried.

Knowing his fear dealing with anything medical, Robin put his hands to his head in a vain attempt to concentrate.

"BB, quit your tweakin' and let the man think," Cyborg yelled over his shoulder.

Raven contained Beast Boy in a black bubble, then had a look around. "That door can't be budged from the inside."

"Why can we not break this glass?" Starfire said as she rammed into it for the thirty-fourth time in less than a minute.

"Whoever built this is good," Cyborg said. "Too good."

Robin's eyes narrowed. "Slade."

"Man, you think it's Slade every time-"

"No, it's Slade," Robin said, motioning out one of the two windows in the room.

"No way," Beast Boy said, his voice muffled by Raven's bubble.

Raven looked around. "Slade and Rex X? Working together?"

"It was just a matter of time," Cyborg said with a sigh.

"What could he be planning?" Robin pondered aloud while the group watched Slade present Red X with a briefcase.

After fiddling with a control panel just outside of the left window, Slade waved in at them as the machinery inside lurched on.

"Titans, destroy that equipment!"

Quicker than Robin could get the words out, he, Raven, and Cyborg were snapped up by mechanized claws and strapped down onto the various tables.

After a moment of struggle, both Starfire and Beast Boy were strapped down as well.

"What next?" Cyborg hollered as the motorized restraints were buckled down over each of them.

"I have no idea," Robin admitted through gritted teeth. "You're a madman, Slade! You won't get away with this!"

"We're gonna need a miracle," Raven muttered as a set of lights came on above them.

With a start, everyone's eyes were drawn to the door as it opened and closed.

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Poor Beast Boy… Poor, poor Beast Boy… No one likes a tweaker.


	3. Chapter 3

Red X shook his head at the group contained in the circular chamber, still struggling against the odds. _Never stood a chance._ He looked to Slade, who seemed overjoyed at prolonging the procedure. "Cut the crap and switch them already."

"I didn't tell you how to do your job," Slade remarked. He glanced over his shoulder. "You still have the jewels you stole, and your payment. You're dismissed."

Red X hesitated. Both instinct and research yielded the fact that Slade's past wheelings and dealings had fallen through, normally resulting in a double-cross of some kind. And this deal was no different. Red X turned slightly and opened the briefcase silently. "I wanna watch."

"Be my guest," Slade said while he waved at the Titans.

After a moment, Red X snapped the top closed. "This is short."

Slade turned fully, not believing the punk would have the audacity to count the bills in the same room. "And if it is?"

"I gave you a set price," Red X replied. "I expect that price. Nothing less."

"Try to collect."

Red X zipped out of sight to do just that.

Quicker than Slade estimated, Rex X had him locked in a death grip. He knew there was no way he'd be able to keep Slade overpowered. _Not for long anyway…_

His quick wit had gotten him through each mess he'd gotten into, and he'd get out on top of this as well. Glancing toward the locked door, Red X conjured an awful idea.

He quickly took out the door's card key Slade had originally given him and slid it through. Once he thrust Slade into the chamber, he slammed the door closed and headed toward the control panel.

"You doublecrossed me!" Slade screamed. He pounded on the window, enraged he had been duped by the younger man. "We had a deal."

"And your half fell through," Red X said casually. He punched a few buttons until Slade was strapped to a table like the others. He then hit a large green button. _Slade's plan to switch minds and bodies was quite brilliant, if not a bit trite. In a matter of days, the Titans would have either destroyed themselves or the world. Either way, he would have won. But now…_ Red X couldn't help his inner amusement. _Now he's bumbled, and he'll pay dearly for it._

After the switch was successful, Red X took the access card out of the control panel, now ready to con Slade further.

He stepped into the silent room with all the presence of a mastermind. "Slade, I have the access card that controls your machine. If you ever want to be yourself again, you'll pay me double what I asked for luring the Titans here. You know how to contact me." With that, he disappeared from the room.

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And Rex X moves in for the kill… What foul deeds shall come from this change of events? More to come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

Light slowly filtered though thick eyelashes. Robin blinked against the lights blazing above. Not quite remembering what had happened, he sat up dazed and a bit confused.

_Get it together_, he told himself. He went to run his hands through his hair, but was unsuccessful. After trying several more times, his hands immediately went to his face. _Oh… Oh no! My mask!_ He sat upright, unrestrained by straps. Looking to his hands, he was startled to see metallic limbs instead. "Aah!"

The door to the room was now open, and his fellow Titans were all free of restraints.

And Slade was still there.

"You maniac!" Robin cried. He hopped onto wobbly legs, then started toward his arch nemesis. "You beast! What have you done! Change us back this instant, or you'll…"

Slade's visible eye popped open as Robin, who was now trapped inside of Cyborg, rang his neck. "Dude, what are you doing? Cy, let me go!"

"Let you go?" he repeated incredulously. "You've got to be kidding."

"That's a cool trick Cyborg," he laughed in a voice that wasn't his. "You sound just like Robin. Now, how to we get out of here?"

"Beast Boy?"

"Yeah, who else has green skin and a killer smile like mine?" He blinked. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Cy, you're scaring me."

"I'm not Cyborg. And you're not Beast Boy."

"Huh? Of course I'm me. Who else could I be?"

Robin motioned toward one of the reflective walls.

Beast Boy let out an ear-piercing scream.

Robin's body lurched awake. "What? What! Beast Boy, where-?"

"I'm a monster!" he cried. He stumbled to his feet and grabbed onto Slade's face. "No! How could this happen? I've turned into the man who ruined me life!"

"What's going on?" Raven asked. She felt her face, or rather Robin's face. "Oh… not again."

"Raven?" Robin asked. A part of him relaxed knowing that Raven was in possession of his body. He knew that she'd leave the mask on and keep that part of his life private. "Good… That's good."

"That's not good," she said, hoping up. She went directly to her body. With a slap, she said, "Whoever's in there, wake up. Starfire, please be Starfire-"

"Whoa… what is going on? Why do I feel so… unmanly?"

Raven grimaced in Robin's body. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Me too," Beast Boy muttered, dropping to the floor as Slade.

"Yo Robin, why are your hands on your hips?" Cyborg asked, sitting up. "Is there something you're not telling us?"

"I'm not Robin."

"Raven? Hahaha! That's pretty good, Robin. I didn't know you did impressions."

"I don't," Raven said. "Take a look in the makeshift mirror."

"Oh my God!"

"No! Don't get upset. You'll loose control of my powers!"

"Ooh, right! Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry-"

"Friends, why is everyone so distressed?"

Robin spun, hoping to see Starfire as her normal, pretty self. Instead, he was nose to nose with Beast Boy. "Starfire, we've been switched."

She turned so she could see. A slow smile spread across Beast Boy's face. "Marvelous! I can turn into any sort of creature I desire! This is a most welcome evil scheme!"

"Then if you're Beast Boy… Slade must be-"

Raven glanced around. "Starfire's body's missing."

"Great," Robin muttered. He sighed. "He must have slipped out while I was choking his body." He paused. "Okay team. Let's not panic. We'll find Slade in Starfire's body, give Red X whatever he wants. Once the switch is made, we'll track him down and beat the unholy crap out of him for doing this. Then, we'll let Slade have him."

"Sounds like a plan," Cyborg said. He stood and drew up Raven's cloak. "Okay, so Raven, you're in Robin's body?"

She nodded.

"You stick with me," he demanded. He looped Raven's arm through Robin's. "I confess that I love too much, so you need to keep me from doing all the things that I normally do to keep your… _whatever_ under control."

She nodded.

Starfire frowned in Beast Boy's body, not liking the picture before her at all.

"Now, why don't we head back to the tower, and see if we can get a lock on Starfire's body," Robin suggested. "She should be fairly easy to find."

"And what is your meaning?"

Robin cleared Cyborg's throat. "Let's move Titans."

"Come on, Beast Boy," Raven urged. She shook Slade's shoulder. "It's not that bad. You could be stuck in my body." When nothing but silence came from him, Raven frowned slightly. "It was a joke."

"Believe me, being you would me a million times better than being Slade," he muttered.

"We know it is not Slade inside," Starfire said. She focused inwardly until she turned into a puppy. With a squeak, she turned back into Beast Boy. "Did you see that? Did that make you cheerful?"

He shook Slade's head.

Raven reached Robin's hand down and looped it under Slade's arm. "Come on. Starfire, I'll hoist him on if you'll carry him."

She nodded. After a moment, she changed into a pony.

"Aww… Beast Boy, you make one sexy pony."

Slade's eye narrowed at Cyborg in Raven's body.

"No jokes while you're me," Raven reminded him as they headed out the door and down the hallway toward the exit.

"Right, right. Dang girl, it's gonna be hard being you."

"It's a full time job," Raven muttered. She then sighed. "I hope this doesn't take long."

"Me neither," Cyborg said. He smiled over at Robin. "I think you have to pee."

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Can you imagine Cyborg's distress? That would traumatize me, I don't know about everyone else… So Robin's Cyborg, Starfire's Beast Boy, Cyborg's Raven, Beast Boy's Slade, Raven's Robin, and Slade's stuck in Starfire's body… What evil shall he conjure while stuck in _her_ shoes?


	5. Chapter 5

"I thought you said it would be easy to find Starfire."

Robin frowned. It had been two hours since the switch and they had found nothing. He turned Cyborg's body toward Slade. "I assumed it would be. Starfire's powers are something that Slade would revel in. I don't know why he hasn't went on a rampage."

Raven kept clicking away at the city map displayed on an errant computer. "Nothing… This is terrible."

"You're telling me," Cyborg whined. A light above him burst. "I don't know how much longer I can take this! I like feeling feelings, but Raven can't feel anything!"

"Don't get mad," she snapped. "Meditate."

"What were the words again?"

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Find your center and focus. Block out all outer stimuli until I tell you."

"Find my center? You sound like a self-help pamphlet."

The frown on Robin's face worsened.

"Okay," Cyborg huffed. "Azacar Metro Zinthos."

A muscle on Robin's face twitched. "Good… Very good."

"Look friends, I shall now turn into a small woodland creature," Starfire announced. She made Beast Boy into a rabbit, then morphed back. "Was I not the most adorable small furry creature ever?"

"Yes. Adorable."

Beast Boy's smiled widened at Robin's body. Starfire turned him toward the real Beast Boy, who was attempting to take off Slade's mask. "Did you see my successful display of a cute cuddly bunny?"

Slade flopped on the floor in his effort. "If you want to do something useful, help me get this stupid thing off! I wanna know what he really looks like."

"As much as I agree, we shouldn't bother with that now," Robin said. He checked Cyborg's stats before he moved to a different program. "Get on your communicators and see if Slade thought to get rid of Starfire's."

"Now I shall be a precious little penguin infant."

"Starfire, concentrate!"

"I shall. Look what I can become now!"

He put Cyborg's head into his hands.

"Can someone please help me?" Beast Boy begged. "Who doesn't want to know who this freak is? I need someone to pull the opposite direction that I'm pulling."

"No way."

"Why not?" he asked, looking at Robin's body. "Don't you want to know who Slade really is, Raven?"

"Beast Boy, taking off Slade's mask while he's not here would be like taking off Batman's cowl while he's unconscious to see who he really is," Raven said. "It's just not done."

"How else are we gonna know?"

"Beast Boy, you must restrain yourself," Starfire demanded. "I could be a kitty again if you like. That will take your mind off of your current body."

"Stop making my body do girly things!" 

"While I am in your body, I shall do as I please."

"Stop talking, both of you," Raven demanded, crossing Robins arms. "Cyborg needs to focus."

"Just because you're _in_ Robin doesn't _make_ you Robin," Beast Boy countered.

Robin glanced over Cyborg's shoulder. "Titans, relax. This is exactly what Slade would have wanted us to do. Quit your fighting and search for Starfire's body."

"Alien Mentrion Zinthar…" Cyborg chanted from his spot at the table.

"Maybe we should do this in separate rooms," Raven suggested tiredly. "We might get more done that way."

"You might be right," Robin said, bringing up a different program.

"Does someone have a ball for the beach?" Starfire asked excitedly. "I shall attempt to balance it on a seal's nose."

"No way!" Beast Boy shouted. "I do _not_ do tricks."

"But it will be most entertaining-"

"I said no!"

"The trick is only for our friends," she said. "I have always wished you would perform for us when we are feeling the downer. Now is a perfect time for the picking up."

"You wouldn't dare-"

"I see my plan is going just as I expected. Despite this small snafu, I would have been successful."

Robin got Cyborg to his feet, seeing Starfire's body in the doorway. "Slade! How did you get in?"

"Who me?" he asked, walking toward them. "I'm on this team, remember Robin? The security alarm would have never gone off for your alien super-girl."

Starfire put Beast Boy's hands on his hips. "Do not make me walk in such a fashion! I do not tromp on the floor like a man!"

"As you insist," he replied, putting her hands on her hips.

"Why have you come here?" Robin demanded, raising Cyborg's beam cannon.

"Why do you think?" he asked, striking out Starfire's hip. He then sighed. "That keeps happening… Titans, I'll level with you. It is entirely uncharacteristic of me to do so, but I wish to make a compromise."

"We know better to trust you," Robin spat.

"We'll hear you out," Raven said, approaching him in Robin's body.

"You're you insane?" Robin queried unbelievingly. "There is no way we can trust this psychopath."

"Do you want to stay like this?"

"What's your plan," Robin muttered, turning to Starfire's body.

He held up the access card. "I want my body back. We'll locate a person of your choice to operate the controls and switch us back."

"And about your original plan?"

He shrugged at Robin's body. "There are many other ways to get what I want."

"Fine," Robin relented after a moment. He turned to his body. "Get a hold of Bumble Bee. I want her to do this. Tell her to bring her other teammates."

Raven nodded and went to her task.

"I must know, how were you able to take back that devise?" Starfire asked Slade. "Were you able to control my powers?"

"I attempted to," he admitted. "Your powers are centered on good feelings and being nice." He crossed her arms. "I don't do nice."

"Then how did you get the card?" Beast Boy asked.

"Let's just say I know what boys like, and X was a very willing prisoner."

Starfire retched. "Why is it that I feel that I have been dipped in cheese?"

"Bumble Bee said they'd be here in no time," Raven said, joining them as Robin. "We'll meet them there."

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"_Slade sticking out his hip_." What a ham! He's such a girl…And how would _he_ know what boys like? I guess with all his "wheeling and dealing", he was bound to figure it out ;)

Hahaha.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh man, it feels so good to be back!" Cyborg said, stretching out after plopping down onto their couch. "I can't believe Slade wasn't going to doublecross us on this."

"I expected him to," Robin admitted, grabbing a chair. "It didn't surprise me that he tried to fight us after the switch though."

"I am most grateful to all of the Titans East for coming," Starfire said. "If it were not for them, Slade may have overcome us."

"We would have made it," Raven said, joining Cyborg on the couch. "At least we know that machine doesn't work anymore."

"After unleashing hurricane BB on it, I don't think the metal it was made from could be recycled."

Beast Boy smiled at Cyborg as he plopped next to Raven. "I wailed on that thing pretty hard, didn't I?"

"And my beam cannon had nothing to do with it-"

"The important thing is we'll never have to worry about it again," Robin interrupted. He hopped up and started toward his room. "I'll go destroy the blueprints."

"Well, I'm sure glad that's over," Cyborg said. He smiled at Raven. "I don't envy being you. It's hard."

"Well, someone has to do it."

He tossed an arm over her shoulder. "Still, for a little bit, I knew what it felt like to be pretty."

The vase on the coffee table burst as Raven blushed slightly.

"And I enjoyed being Beast Boy," Starfire said as she whisked toward the kitchen to find something to eat.

"You don't hear of many people applying for that job."

Beast Boy frowned at Cyborg's joke.

"Friends, perhaps we could celebrate this victory by inspecting the channels on the television and zombieing ourselves to it's screen for the evening?"

"Good idea Star," Cyborg said. As the great search for the remote began, he couldn't help a chuckle. "I wonder what Slade did to Red X, you know?"

Raven thought. "Hmm… I wonder indeed."

"Oh well," Beast Boy said. He withdrew the remote from the couch cushions and turned on the TV. "Whatever Slade did with him is okay by me. I'm willing to turn my head the other way."

"Me too," Cyborg agreed. "Now, let's see what kind of movies are on tonight."

Meanwhile, in a deep dark pit somewhere below the earth's surface, Rex X struggled against a set of chains. _Hmm… I wonder when Starfire's coming back? It shouldn't take a girl this long to get ready for a date…_

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Muhahahahahahaha! Who saw that one coming? And Cy telling Raven she's pretty… How sweet! Okay, that's the end. Comments? Go right ahead. Thanks for readin'. Hope you liked it!

_pookytoo_


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